Monday, March 31, 2008

Update to My Worst. Date. Ever.

First of all, the fact that I changed his name to Gaylord (see blog posting about my worst date ever) caused quite a reaction - the best being:


How very applicable. :)

In my Vegas travels this past weekend, I came across this restaurant, of which I am familiar, but bore a special meaning to me now:

I have yet one more update to my story. This past weekend, as I mentioned, I was in Vegas for my friend's bachelorette party. To say it was crazy is the understatement of the year, but that's not for public consumption. Well, at least not all of it. Anyway, we were getting ready to head out to the Olive Garden for some crazy breadsticks and laughter, my phone rings. Note that I had told my date story to the girls on the first leg of the drive to Vegas, and then to the other two girls on the second leg of the drive. It's Gaylord...calling me...on a Saturday night. This is a bit how the voicemail went:

"Hey Megan, it's Gaylord*. So ummm I know we only went out that one night, but ummm well I was pretty nervous. I was trying to impress you and I think that I might have talked too much about how many people I know ummmm my bad. Well umm I really liked you and would like to be your friend. So I was sort of dating between the time I met you and our date and it got more involved and I was nervous about that too...sooo uh well I think you're cool and I'd like to hang out as friends, so um give me a call."

Alrighty, let's assess.
1) He called again. HELLOOOOO! I did not call you, I did not return your text, so please take that as a no.

2) He recognized that he name dropped and bragged about driving around rich people. Good job there, Gaylord. Next time, maybe he'll recognize that offering me weed, asking me to run his errands for him, and not paying the whole bill are also causes for a bad, bad date.

3) He still wants to be friends. Having nothing in common makes for a difficult friendship, though I did start using hardcore drugs in Vegas this weekend, so maybe we could hang out and smoke a bowl. You know how Vegas is, it makes me cRaZy!

4) He started to get "more involved" with someone in the SIX DAYS between the time we met and our "date." Six days?!?! Hmmm. So did he technically cheat on that girl then by taking me out on a "date"?? Wow. I feel so lied to.

5) I have nothing else. I'm pretty stunned.

Cheers to dating stories! May they live long and prosper.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hello 1995!

About 3 months ago, my youngest brother asked us all if we wanted to see Presidents of the United States of America, March 18, 2008, 8pm, Great American Music Hall, $18. Sure! Sounds rad.

Meggie and I headed to SF last night to witness the weirdest opening act I've ever seen in my whole entire life. Ever. I'm not sure quite what to say about Pleaseeasaur...costumes, random lyrics ("No Prob Limo"), performance art (?), crazy energy (aerobics-style), and did I mention costumes? It was like Halloween night karaoke on crack. I laughed quite a few times - not sure if it was because it was so strange or if it was because it was actually funny (in parts). Maybe it's over my head because he is signed with Comedy Central Records, but I doubt that since I have a pretty random sense of humor. I did dig the mullet.

The next act was Ludo - a band from St. Louis. Am I too old for this? They weren't that great. Their keyboard/sound effect guy was a wacko - I personally think the only person who should be singing the lyrics is the one with the mic. Don't just sing along on stage, it's distracting. Either grab a mic or focus on your one job - turning dials. He did have enough enthusiasm to get people into it though, so props to keyboard/sound effect guy.

Finally, PUSA arrived on stage. Granted, they're a lot older than I thought, but then again so am I. Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it! Millions of peaches, peaches for me! Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh! Little blue dune buggy! There were songs that I'd never heard because I haven't listened to them much over the years, but those songs are so awesome. Sitting there, in the top of the Great American Music Hall, with all of its beautiful, ornate carvings, I was transported back to an easier time when the most important thing was what time to meet in the McDonald's parking lot or what movie to watch. The band was great - they're much more talented than I ever realized and I'm so happy I finally got to see them.

Cheers to PUSA and my youngest brother for organizing this outing!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Wow. Seriously?

Last weekend, I took a friend out for dinner as a going away evening out on the town (aka a night in Napa....not sure if it can be classified as "a night on the town" but whatever). We ended up at a certain place on Main St. that I will not name. The music was good, the scene was pretty good, so we made our way to an open spot at the bar. Sitting next to us were these two guys - friendly, cool, normal. Or so they seemed.......

Fast forward to Tuesday (the obligatory 3 day rule I guess. Should have been sign numero uno). I get a call from one of those guys, seeing if I wanted to go out on Friday night. If you know my dating history, of course I said yes. He was a cool guy, and it would be fun. Or so I thought.

Friday evening, 5:45pm. He calls. 45 minutes later than he said he would. (Should have been sign numero dos.) I left work late, he said he had too, I cut him some slack.

This next bit is paraphrased like crazy. So shoot me.

"Hi Megan, this is Gaylord*. Sorry I didn't call sooner but I got off work late. I had a pretty bad day, but I should be out of my funk soon." (Sign numero tres)
Me: "No problem - I worked later than I expected. Just driving home now."
Gaylord: "So is 7 still good for you?"
Me: "Yeah, sounds good. What do you want to do?" (The fact that I even ask this is sign numero quattro.)
Gaylord: "Well, like, I have to go to my mom's and return her key, 'cause she needs to get into her car. She, like, lives in St. Helena." (I, like, just came from there...sign numero cinco.) "And then, like, I left my jacket in my friend's car - oh yeah you know Elvis* you met him at last weekend."
Me: "Oh yeah." (Not impressed. Getting annoyed. Severly annoyed. Sign numero sies. Note: I can't count that far in Spanish, so I may go bilingual soon.)
Gaylord: "He's in St. Helena right now. So I was thinking we could just go to the brewing company and have a beer. Oh and like, my registration on my car is expired, so I was thinking that I maybe could like drive your car, or you could drive and I'll just give you gas money?" (Wow. I'm really stupid. I mean come on....I'm about to give the green light to someone who basically wants me to chauffeur them around for errands they have to run in the town I JUST came from??? It's no longer a sign. I'm just too nice and too foolish not to have said no.)
Me: "Um, well, ok that's fine." (Not fine. I'm not annoyed now, I'm angry.) "So I'll call you when I leave my house at 7 to get directions to your house." (grrrrrr.)
Gaylord: "Yeah cool ok."

I sit around for a bit and head out at 7. What can I say, I'm punctual. I call when I'm like 5 seconds down my street.

Me: "Hi, I just left. So how do I get to your house?"
Gaylord: "Oh dude I'm sorry I just got out of the shower. Dude I need like 15-20 minutes."
Me: "Oh. Uh. Ok." (WHAT IS MY PROBLEM??? Turn around and go home....! I think that but don't actually do it.)

At 7:30 I call again.

Me: "Ok, where do I go?"
Gaylord gives me directions. I'd post his address here so you could all go egg his house, but I'm just not that mean. I should bank some karma points right about now. He waves me up to his (ghetto) apartment. I step in the front door, it's dark, it's dingy, and it's 1972. Fine, whatever. So he's a guy who has no taste. Usually I'd be ok with it, but I was an unhappy datee.

Gaylord: "So which shirt should I wear? I just can't decide. I didn't, like, wanna wear that one because that's, like, the one I met you in."
Me: "It doesn't really matter...we're just going to the brewing company."
Gaylord: "So do you smoke weed?"
Me: "Nope."
Gaylord: "Oh...uh....sorry. I guess I'll just, uh, leave this here." (He takes a pipe and a bag out of his pocket and puts it on the dresser. Yes, this truly happened. I had no idea what to even say at that point. Seriously? Is this really happening? I really went out with this guy?? I'm checking myself into Napa State to check on my Napa State of Mind. [Note: I ripped that saying off from a white rapper who hails from this great land of grapes. Awesome.]) "Ok, let's go."

I'll spare you the horrible "conversation" we - no HE - had on the way to St. Helena. He name dropped and talked about himself the whole drive. He didn't ask me anything. He texted. "Dinner" was more of the same - boring. We have nothing in common. AT ALL. The check came...

Gaylord: "Oh man, like, I can't afford the whole check. Sorry." (It was $47.12.)
Me: "Yeah fine, I'll put half on my card." ($26 for the worst evening of my life with a stranger.) "Well, it's about 9 o'clock. I have to get going. I have to be up early."
Gaylord: "Oh ok." (What else is he going to say?? I drove him there...)

The drive home was much more of the same: more texting, more talking about himself, he even answered his phone when it rang. Bah, that was bad.

I dropped him off, made sure my body language said nothing but "please just get out" and he left. It was the worst "date" I'd ever been on. I was on and yahoo personals for like 9 months. In 9 months, I didn't have anywhere near that horrible of a date. Ever. I thought - good, leave, good riddance.

Sunday evening I get a text message from him. Basically he says he had a good time and hopes I did too. He wants to hang out again "but just as friends. hope u r cool w that :)" UM does he think that I want to have a romantic relationship with him?? REALLY?

My goodness dating sucks.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I Don't Get It.

Why are young people into Michael Bublé? I don't understand. Most of the songs are covers of the classics...don't get me wrong, he has a great voice. I personally prefer Dean and Frank, but I'm just saying that it's just weird to me. Thank you, that's all.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

One more comment

I was just about to get up from the computer and continue in my mission to clean the house. As I started to turn, the buzzer on the dryer went off. Now you may think, uh...and? Oh no, this is no ordinary dryer buzzer. Number 1, you can't shut it off. Who makes a dryer where you can't shut the buzzer off?? Who, I ask, WHO???

Number 2, that thing is LOUD. Remember the part in Dumb & Dumber when they make the most annoying sound in the world? It's like that but WAY WAY LOUDER. I'm 100% sure it wakes up the neighborhood. It always makes me jump outta my seat. I hate that thing.

Cheers to dryers without buzzers. No cheers allowed for my dryer.

(Now I'm off to eat yet another Cadbury Cream Egg. Goodness gracious make it stop.)

What the....

It's just gorgeous out! 75 degrees, cherry trees and mustard in full bloom, saturated colors that give me the worst spring fever - I went upvalley today to do some shooting.

Some days are boring - pretty routine, nothing special to note. Some days are just weird - random things that are out of place, running into people that you haven't seen in 10 years, silly moments that are worth writing about. I had the latter today.

1. I was leaving my house, turning onto Soscol when I see a Miata driving southbound. The driver was a white dude, probably mid-forties. Doesn't seem too weird, right? WRONG. He was wearing this:

I'm dead serious.

2. I'm driving down Soscol and a guy on a bike is next to me. Unfortunately I'm going really slowly which means he pretty much keeps up with me. I say "unfortunately" because this is what I saw......a guy, 45 or so, hair down to the middle of his back, psycho-mustache, horn-rimmed glasses, trucker hat placed ever so slightly on the head, slightly dirty, riding a bike like this:

(the unfortunate part....)

(NOTE: This photo was stolen from some website. This is not the actual photo of the dude I saw today on Soscol. I couldn't bring myself to take a photo of him.)


3. The scene: Silverado Trail, the winding part before Calistoga. I'm going around a curve and there's a woman on a beach cruiser bicycle (lime green), in full on Kentucky Derby wear, or possibly going-out-for-a-sail-wear. I'm talkin' hat, dress, heels flying down Silverado Trail. Awesome.

Cheers to daily randomness!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Ups & Downs

Today was a pretty good day. No real reason why - I had my review, the sun finally shone through the high clouds, I'm trying to take control of my finances. It was a pretty good day.

My goal of getting organized is not quite happening. Between all of the photo work, my full-time job, commitments to friends and family, my house has gone downhill and I just don't have the energy or motivation to get it in shape. Usually when it gets to this point I plan a party - that way I have a goal I have to strive for. Of course, if I do that, I end up throwing everything in cute boxes or closets, never to be seen again. It's life or mess, man.

I have come to the realization that I am addicted to Cadbury Cream Eggs. Not like "oh I love those things" but more like "GIMME A CADBURY CREAM EGG NOW." I'm so addicted that I should go on Intervention for them. Actually, I should go on Intervention for being addicted to Intervention.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Back to My Vine Roots

To kick off my new blog, I thought I'd post about it on my current blog, one that might have like three readers. This one you're on now, Living the Vine Life, started because I wanted to write about my experiences in the wine industry. Since starting it however, it has become more of a story of my life, and less about wine.

In order to get back to my vine roots, I started this: Millennial Wino: The Pursuit of the Happy Grape. Sit back, relax, pour yourself a glass of wine, and enjoy.