Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Blog Topics

I want it on record that there are certain things you shouldn't blog about, unless you happen to be an expert in the field of your topic, aka doctor, nurse, biologist, researcher, police officer, etc.

One would be your child's birth. I know that it's awesome and miraculous and all that. Your feelings about it are ok, welcome even, but your description of what the placenta looked like or what crap was on your slimy baby when it first popped out or the unexpected things that happened to you should be off limits. Maybe I say this because I have yet to have a kid and I don't truly know how awesome and incredible it is. But honestly, no one really needs to know the intimate details about that life event. They don't. If they wanted to, they'd look it up on or ask their mom or doctor. If you blog about it, I'll never look at you the same way again. Some things need to be left as a surprise.

Another would be your period. No one needs to chat about it like we're talking about what you're going to eat for dinner. As women, we all know how annoying it is, how it always comes at the most inopportune time, and how it's usually accompanied by pain, discomfort, anger and tears. We know that without this monthly fun time, we can't have babies. That doesn't make it some amazing topic that you need to tell me about. I already know, and no, most chicks don't think it's a blessing or a miracle. At this point, you'd think I was used to it, but without fail, every month, I'm annoyed, disappointed, and frustrated by its presence. Did I just blog about my feelings on that topic? Sorry.

Yet another is writing about any toilet duties. Bloggers are mostly adults, and other adults don't really need to know much about that topic. We already do - we've been doing it for a long time, and we know how it works. That's enough for me. The occasional fart or burp joke is, of course, funny.

In general, bloggers shouldn't write about things they know nothing about but act like they do. The flip side of this is if you're funny. I don't care what you write about as long as you entertain me for the 5 minutes I'm on your blog. Granted, it's not my place to tell anyone what to write about, but there sure are some topics that I don't like to think about, let alone read about in someone else's blog. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but ok, I am. Don't. Please. The blogsphere will be eternally grateful if you'd keep the bodily function topics to a minimum.

Monday, February 23, 2009

GoKart Racing

Hello, I'm Slowpoke. I recently competed in a race in Burlingame, placing 10th in my race and 48th for the day. Not bad, considering there 723 racers. I'm really good.

Fine, the truth. There were 15 racers when I placed 10th and 67 racers of the day when I placed 48th. I rocked. HA! My dad took a bunch of us to the Go Kart Racer in Burlingame - it was AWESOME!!! Those little karts go pretty fast and the steering is tough. I'm really sore....I had to use my whole body to steer because my arms are wimpy wimpy wimpy. We had such a great time and I can't wait to do it again!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009


As I stand here in my empty condo in Sonoma, I feel the need to vent about how annoying and flakey Craigslist people are. Don't tell me you're looking forward to seeing the apartment ("see you Saturday!") then not show up. I have a life too, ya know. I don't exactly LOVE standing in the kitchen of a condo I can't sell or even seem to rent. I have no chair, no music, no luxuries of home, but I am stealing someone's internet and that's cool.

Overall, I tout the awesomeness that is Craigslist....I have purchased my sectional, TV cabinet, cool shelves, bookcases, loveseat, gas dryer, coffee table, night stand, patio furniture, and bed all on Craigslist. I found an apartment when I lived in the city and my pervious car. I've sold a bunch of furniture, including my couch set and a secretary desk.

That said, WHY ARE PEOPLE SUCH FLAKES?!? Why oh why do they hide behind the interweb and say one thing and do another? If you see my ad, you email me, we have correspondence, you have my email address and phone number...just let me know you aren't coming. I don't care why, I just don't want to waste gas and time coming over here if I don't have to!

Ok that's all. It's not you, Craigslist, it's your users.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Feelings.....Not So Many...Feeeeeelingss....

Last night, Wenis and I attended the Napa Chamber of Commerce mixer at Black Stallion winery. The winery itself was gorgeous - it's pretty new, so I expected it to be pretty - and Wenis said the Syrah was good. I wish my house looked like that....

We met some very cool people, and saw a couple I wasn't too excited to see. The night was good - $20 good? Um, maybe not - but it's good for me to get out there and meet new people.

A note about my feelings on seeing people I didn't want to see - I feel nothing. I didn't overreact, I didn't get overly nervous, I didn't turn beet red, I didn't care. This is an incredible feeling - this not caring thing. I have my life, it revolves around me and my friends and my family and my experiences, and it does not involve those people. They do not have the stronghold they had yesterday, last month, last year. They are nothing to me and it feels awesome.

Cheers to realizing what I already knew but didn't see!