Oh TV

In an effort to change my ways, I joined bootcamp for some self-torture (oh and health and all that), and tried to get rid of cable. My intentions were to completely get rid of digital cable with my beloved DVR, HD everything, HBO and Starz.

I hate Comcast with every inch of my being, wait no, I hate AT&T more. Anyway, I hate Comcast though I have been able to punk the system every six months by threatening to cancel and move to Dish. This time around, I really did need to cancel, but it had nothing to do with Comcast, their prices, or their downtime. It had to do with the love affair I have with my couch and remote - the endless evenings spent watching BAD (but wonderful) reality TV like Flavor of Love and Rock of Love (all the seasons), many hours of Law & Order the original and SVU, and HGTV, the light of my life. I needed to break the habit of coming home from work, posting it on the couch and wasting away my life. So I needed to cancel. I called Comcast. It was $8 cheaper to keep basic cable and internet, than it was to just have internet. Being cheap, I kept basic cable. I remember the days of basic cable now. I dislike it. A lot. And there goes my vow to omit TV from my life...

Since Saturday, I have watched commercials (DVR, where art thou), I have watched Dr. Phil, I have watched the actual news, I have watched the best show ever made - WIPEOUT. I just finished watching the first episode and laughed OUT LOUD on my couch for the whole hour. I don't what it is about people falling/bouncing/slipping/crashing/slamming/smacking/spinning/smashing but IT IS FUNNY. Those big red balls - HILARIOUS! I know I'm a nerd, I mean, who watches that crap, but for real - it's a crack up.

Granted, I may be delirious from an episode of Family Feud, followed by an episode of Feud de Familia en espanol on channel 20, and half an episode of Celebrity Family Feud with Joan Riviers and Ice T. Shoot me now.

Cheers to WIPEOUT! Thank you for making me giggle. Uncontrollably.

Diary of the Pink House, Chapter 1

I live in Napa. I live in an established neighborhood. By established, I mean old. Old in every, way, shape and form. Old people, old trees, old houses, old roads. By neighborhood, I mean a place where there are houses next to each other, but by no means is anyone neighborly. Granted, I fall into that category as well. I come home, to my house on the street with no sidewalks, I go inside and I stay there. If I want to go outside, I go out back. That's the extent of my own neighborliness. I'll try to work on that. I'll ask someone for sugar someday.

I have these neighbors, and they live in a pink house across the street-without-sidewalks from me. Honestly I have not one clue who actually lives in that house. Different people, different cars, different voices every day. I'm ok with that, even though they're probably dealers...note to self - I should invite Gaylord over. Also, I probably shouldn't ask for sugar: my Intervention addiction taught me that though I think I know a lot about drugs, I actually don't, and "sugar" could mean something completely different in this case.

Today, a woman is "mowing the 'lawn'" with a weedwacker. It's an electric one, with a really, really long cord. It doesn't work that well and she restarts it constantly. In the grand scheme of things, at least she "mows" her lawn. I, on the other hand, love my forest of weeds (aka I'm too lazy to go out there and take care of my yard). For some reason, her "mowing" the lawn with that choice of gardening power tool doesn't actually surprise me. At this point, after 15 months of living here, I've seen it all. Painting windows instead of using curtains. Using a wine barrel as a stand for a massive swamp cooler. A young guy mowing the lawn (yes, with an actual mower) at 11pm, with sparks flying everywhere. Highly entertaining screaming matches. I'm really looking forward to the next 15 months...

Cheers to neighborhoods!